I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
