I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
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