That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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