Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
