You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
