When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
