her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
