2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
