South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
