I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
