I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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