I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
