All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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