you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
