I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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