New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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