Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
and she was petting her beer can
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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