Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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