I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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