So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
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