ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
