Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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