yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize