ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
