So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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