Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
