When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
