That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
