is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
