I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize