my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
