That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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