there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize