if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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