he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize