All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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