it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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