apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
