Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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