I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
