i love accidental penises.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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