I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
