Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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