He is such a slut. More and more my type.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
