similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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