I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
