the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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