there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
