You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
