Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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