I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
