Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
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He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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