HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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