at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
