Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
