He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
