I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
