garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
