At least make sure they are 18
Why
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
