he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We are all done wearing pants today
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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