Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
