i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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